I've lost a lot. People who used to talk to me are now quiet. I'm not getting any new job offerings and probably I've lost all my chances to ever get that little toe tip back in the job of my dreams again. People are giving up on me and they have lost all their trust and hope and faith about me. I've lost a lot of time. A lot of years. I've lost friends and I've lost even myself sometimed. Yes. I've lost it all to prioritise the demons inside my head. Unwillingly.

But there is one thing I've still got. One aspect I didn't lost... the will to never give up on myself. Cause no matter how lonely I am and how few people who are able or willing see a future in me. I've never ever stopped the fight for or trust in myself. I do understand how hopeless I may seem to be, but in my head, I still believe that even the most hopeless persons can have a bright future.

One day..one day.. one day... so what ever you think of me, how tired you are of me, how hopeless and stupid you think I am, how dead you think I am, yes, it may hurts, but it will never make me lose the hope about myself and the trust and belief that I can make it through my times of darkness and hell...never...